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Why, oh WHY, do you need to lick your fingers before taking out your dollar bills and handing them to me? They're not brand new bills that are sticking together. In fact, they're wrinkly old bills that are very easy to take out one by one withOUT licking your fingers.
Do you think I now want to touch those bills? The answer is no......NO. I don't want to have anything to do with those bills now that you've touched them with your slobbery fingers. Gross. Let me go grab a pair of tongs.....seriously.
Would you like it if I spit on my fingers before giving you back your change?....What was that?....No, you wouldn't? Yeah, I didn't think so. Then why would you think I would be okay with it? Not cool....in fact, disgusting.
People are OBSESSED with Onion Goggles. I've never seen anyone get so excited and giddy as do customers when they discover that we have onion goggles. Most people don't even know they exist, so when they stumble upon them they seriously have a laughing fit for at least 2 minutes.
"Onion Goggles??!! Hahahahahahahahaha." Ummm...... seriously? Chill. Calm down. They're just onion goggles. You really don't need them, but if you're gonna buy them can you *please* not discuss how funny they are or how usually you take your kids' swim goggles when you're cutting an onion and now you'll have a pair of your own!
Had a woman purchase a pair recently and she asked, "What are my color options?" I said, "Black." She responded with, "Tah, seriously?!" Uh, yeah lady.....seriously. *Seriously*....you don't need the goggles to match your outfit. *hair-twirl, flaky giggle* It's okay, black matches EVERYTHING!!!
It doesn't matter where I am in the store, where I need to go or what I need to stock the shelves with......there is ALWAYS someone in my way. It's like a *not-so-funny* joke being played on me, ALL THE TIME.
If I'm unpacking a shipment and turn around to put the items out on the shelves, there's someone there! So I'll wait and grab something else to put out, and get this.......someone is where that needs to go!
The customers are like magnets that parallel my every move and then decide to stick to exactly where I need to be. They *somehow* know where I'm going and HAVE to be there at the very same time. It's come to the point that I sort of assume that someone will be in my way. It's not that customers do this on purpose per se, but it's become this joke that no matter what I need to do someone is always standing right there, blocking where I need to go .
And yes people, I am perfectly capable of saying "excuse me", but since most human beings don't understand that "excuse me" means "get the hell out of my way, please".....it's just better to walk away and avoid the frustration.
"We're sold out of the number twos right now."
Okay people, get this.......MY time is just as valuable as YOUR time.
What does that mean? It means that when I'm ringing you up at the register and you decide to walk away to look at something *sparkly!* that catches your eye for a whole two minutes, I could be doing something else that needs to be done. Or, when I'm walking over to show you where something is and you stop to *pet* something you see and I'm standing there, waiting.....I could be doing something more productive.
See, here's the thing.......just because I am serving YOU, doesn't mean that MY time isn't as valuable as YOUR time. Do ya get it? *flaky giggle*
Working in a sort of "upscale" shopping area, we deal with a lot of women who *surprisingly* run their own errands, yet can't/don't/won't do their own dishes....laundry....cooking. As a result, they give these tasks to their cleaning ladies.
I'm the lucky gal that gets to hear things like, *yuppie voice* "My cleeeeaning lady ruined my knives"...."My fryyyyyy pan got ruined because the cleeeeaning lady put it in the dishwasher".....
Well, did you ever tell your CL not to put your fry pan in the dishwasher? I'd bet five whole dollars you never did!
Sometimes it seems as though they expect me to respond with, "OMG, your cleeeeaning lady doesn't KNOW not to put your fry pan in the dishwasher?!" Yeah, not gonna happen. I'm my own cleaning lady, sweetie.....I have no sympathy for you.
The cleaning lady always gets blamed......
This happens often and it drives me craaaazy....a customer will come up to the counter and ask if we carry something, let's say a *corkscrew*, for example. I will walk over to where the corkscrews are and when I turn around to interact with them, they are still standing at the counter......WAITING for me to bring over all 6 types that we carry. Sometimes they're not even looking at me---just staring straight ahead waiting.
Ummm, no.......*head/hand zig-zag*---> I. Don't. Think. So. Walk your lazy a** over here and check them out for yourself, cuz I I'm not bringing all 6 over to you!
I don't see a caaaaaane. You're not limping. Get yo' a** over here. I am not your servant, nor am I your personal assistant. Nope. No. Nada.
*Obnoxious, high-pitched voice* Come on, youuuuuuu can do it! One foot in front of the other......baby steps! *clapping* Yayyyyy!!
Why, oh WHY, do you need to lick your fingers before taking out your dollar bills and handing them to me? They're not brand new bills that are sticking together. In fact, they're wrinkly old bills that are very easy to take out one by one withOUT licking your fingers.
