Baby Steps _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

This happens often and it drives me craaaazy....a customer will come up to the counter and ask if we carry something, let's say a *corkscrew*, for example. I will walk over to where the corkscrews are and when I turn around to interact with them, they are still standing at the counter......WAITING for me to bring over all 6 types that we carry. Sometimes they're not even looking at me---just staring straight ahead waiting.

Ummm, no.......*head/hand zig-zag*---> I. Don't. Think. So. Walk your lazy a** over here and check them out for yourself, cuz I I'm not bringing all 6 over to you!

I don't see a caaaaaane. You're not limping. Get yo' a** over here. I am not your servant, nor am I your personal assistant. Nope. No. Nada.

*Obnoxious, high-pitched voice* Come on, youuuuuuu can do it! One foot in front of the other......baby steps! *clapping* Yayyyyy!!

Get yo' credit card outta ma' face

A customer will come to the counter to be rung up, whip out their credit card at the VERY beginning (before anything is even scanned), and hold it in ma' face the ENTIRE time. Ummmm....do you seriously not realize that nothing has been done yet? I haven't even picked up one of your items and you already have your credit card out and in ma' face.

I don't know who I hate more......the customer that leaves the credit card on the counter for me to pick up, or the customer who holds their credit card in ma' face for 2-3 minutes while I'm scanning their items.

It's great that you're prepared and ready to pay for your purchase *gold star!*, but damn....back the credit card up!! Sometimes they hold it so close to me that it literally gets in the way while I'm scanning each item...yet they still don't move. Once in awhile I just have to take it out of their hands and place it down on the counter, so I don't reach the point where I freak out and throw it across the store.

There is an order in which things HAVE to be done, people.....I can't swipe your credit card BEFORE your items are scanned. If I did that, you'd be paying for n.o.t.h.i.n.g. Why is that so hard to understand??

Get yo' credit card outta ma' face!

Not Taking the Receipt

The following are the different scenarios that happen when customers don't want their receipt (in no specific order).....

1. Refusing to take it---> I'll be handing them their receipt and they literally refuse it. They don't put out their hand to take it, they usually put out their hand like they're going to smack mine if I don't move it soon.

2. Leaving it on the counter---> The customer takes the receipt when I give it to them, the transaction/interaction is over, they leave......I glance over at the counter and there's the receipt. Just sitting there waiting to be thrown away. Cuz, you know...it's waaaay too much effort for them to ask me to throw it away.

3. The head-shake---> Rather than just saying, "I don't need the receipt", they give me the silent head-shake. Like when you ask a little kid if they want some more broccoli and they give you that 10 second *nooooooooooooo* shaking-of-the-head.

4. "I'm gonna let you keep that"---> Is what they say to me. Oh, thanks!! You're gonna let me (!) KEEP your receipt??!! What did I do to deserve THIS?? I can't believe you're letting me....Soweeeeeet! I'm gonna stash it in my special "receipt box" I keep behind the counter and take home with me at the end of the day. Yes! One more for the collection!!

5. "I'm gonna let you throw that away"---> Oh my gosh, I'm allowed (!) to throw away your receipt?? Wow, thank you.....what an honor! I don't know what to say.....

Actually, I DO know what to say. How about you just TAKE the damn receipt, you annoying human being...OR, ask me *nicely* to throw it away for you. None of this "letting me" crap or staying mute while silently refusing this piece of paper.

Warning: Knives are SHARP (Part 2)

The knives we carry are hanging behind the counter for a reason. They're there so that WE pull them down for customers, not the other way around. Cuz, you know.....they're sharp and stuff.

So why is it, then, that customers feel NO barrier and mosey on back there to haphazardly take knives off the wall? Oh, and by 'take off the wall', I mean carelessly yank the sharp objects and let them dangle from their slimy, ungripped hands....

What's really awesome is when someone comes behind the counter, starts messing with the knives......I give them the "Sir, we prefer that customers don't take the knives off the wall. I'd be happy to pull them down for you" and they continue to do what they're doing. Let me rephrase that...."Douche, we don't want you back here cuz you'll cut yourself or break something. BACK. UP."

Or they act super surprised, like "Ohhh, gosh, what was I thinking?" Yeah douche, what were you thinking?

What's even betterrrrr is when someone clearly doesn't know how to get the knife off the wall and drops one or two.....Cool lady, I needed some puncture wounds on my feet. How'd ya know?!

That's usually the cue to back up, try and wipe the *what are you doooooooing?* look off my face and stop the situation from getting worse.

The knives are behind the counter for a reason people......they're SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARP.

Leaving Things on the Counter (Part 1)

I've never understood this--->Someone will be shopping around the store and will repeatedly walk up to the counter to leave what they're buying there and continue shopping. I can understand if they were buying something large like a toaster or coffee machine.....no problem, leave it there! Hell, I'll probably take it out of your hands and put it there for you.

Why, though, must they "drop off" e-v-e-r-y s-i-n-g-l-e item on the counter while they're shopping? It's not that they juuuuust so happen to be near the counter and decide to leave it there. They could be at the very front of the store......and they still walk over and place the item down on the counter. They could be at the very back of the store.....and they still walk over and place the item down on the counter.

Is that their form of exercise everyday? Doing laps back and forth with "heavy" objects like wooden spoons, bottle stoppers and pop-up sponges?

It not only crowds the counter, it's also a TOTAL pump-fake. Each time they come up to the register, they stay juuuuust long enough to where I think they're done shopping......propose the question, "Are you all set?" and get the giggly, "Noooo, (hehe) still shopping" response.

*Fantasy scenario*......"Oh, (hehe) you're still shopping?" (walk over, grab a basket--clear everything off the counter with one big swipe of the arm) *hand them basket* "Here you go, Dorothy."