Credit Card Lady.....*cough*

So I was getting over a bad cold, but still couldn't shake my cough. I was ringing a lady up at the register and when I told her the total she takes out her credit card, pauses and says to me, "Can *she* swipe my credit card?" (pointing to my co-worker) My co-worker tells her, "Oh, she can swipe it for you." I'm thinking, lady, why are you asking her when *I'm* the one ringing you up and helping you?

The woman says to her, "She's sick." My co-worker tells her, "Well, she *just* washed her hands." (which was true, I had JUST washed my hands) "And JUST coughed on them," the lady snootily responds.

She tells me that she just got over being sick......she was so sick she had to take time off work, blah blah blah. All the while *clinging* to her credit card for dear life!

My co-worker then chimes in and says, "Actually, I caught a cold from *her*.....so she's getting better and I'm getting worse." ::*love it!*:: The mortified look on her face was PRICELESS. She had this look like, "Oh jesus, what am I gonna doooooo?!! They're all sick! They're all gonna get ME sick!!"

She then had the balls to ask me, "Can I come around the counter and swipe it?" I'm thinking......helloooooooooooooo, you moron! The doorknob you touched when you walked in the store is 1000x's more dirty than my freakin' hands! If you're soooo worried about getting sick, why did you even leave your damn house this morning? You couldn't go another day without that *precious* sponge?!?!

I tell her NO, but if she'd like me to I will go wash my hands. (I'm thinking, has it really come to this? This woman is that *scared* of me getting her sick that she won't hand over her credit card.) She stood there contemplating what she should do.....wasting my freakin' time. *Losing my patience* I tell her AGAIN, if you'd like me to go wash my hands, I will.

After a very long *annoying* pause, she says, "Okay, yes."

I went and washed my *germy* hands and she forked over the card......FINALLY. It took all of the willpower I had in me not to cough all over that goddamn credit card and throw it in her face, *frisbee style*!

Get yo' credit card outta ma' face

A customer will come to the counter to be rung up, whip out their credit card at the VERY beginning (before anything is even scanned), and hold it in ma' face the ENTIRE time. Ummmm....do you seriously not realize that nothing has been done yet? I haven't even picked up one of your items and you already have your credit card out and in ma' face.

I don't know who I hate more......the customer that leaves the credit card on the counter for me to pick up, or the customer who holds their credit card in ma' face for 2-3 minutes while I'm scanning their items.

It's great that you're prepared and ready to pay for your purchase *gold star!*, but damn....back the credit card up!! Sometimes they hold it so close to me that it literally gets in the way while I'm scanning each item...yet they still don't move. Once in awhile I just have to take it out of their hands and place it down on the counter, so I don't reach the point where I freak out and throw it across the store.

There is an order in which things HAVE to be done, people.....I can't swipe your credit card BEFORE your items are scanned. If I did that, you'd be paying for n.o.t.h.i.n.g. Why is that so hard to understand??

Get yo' credit card outta ma' face!

Double-Parked

Often we get customers who double-park and run into the store for something. Just because they've made the bad decision to leave their car in the middle of the road with their hazards on, they expect you to drop everything and tend to them.

This causes a problem when you're already helping a customer. *hehehe* As a result they hover, breathe heavy, let out big sighs, wave their hands/arms and usually break down and just blatantly interrupt.

Regardless if you can answer their question or direct them to what they're looking for, they still have to wait until you're done with the customer. *hehehe*

When it's their "turn" to be helped and pay for their purchase, you can usually find them frantically looking out the window scouting for meter maids. I'll be standing there waiting for them to walk back over and give me their money.....once again, on THEIR time.

What bothers me most about this type of situation is that people expect things to happen on their time and their time ONLY. They expect me to abandon the customer I'm in the middle of helping and tend to them because they might get a ticket.

When I'm handing someone their money and have to wait for them to stop messing with their Blackberry, I don't throw a hissy-fit. I don't let out any big sighs or start waving my hands and arms. *There might be times when I'd like to, but I refrain from doing so.*

You have chosen to double-park your car. I realize that you don't want a ticket, but you need to CHILL OUT and wait your turn. Maybe next time instead of making the foolish decision to abandon your car in the middle of the road, you can actually *crazy idea* park it in a parking spot. I know it's a hard concept to fathom, but lots of people do it every single day.

Manicures

Lots of women come into the store to shop for kitchen stuff right after they've gotten their nails "did". Even if you can't see the lovely manicure they've just gotten, you can tell their nails were just "did" because of the way they handle the merchandise: pinkie up, trying to avoid fingertip contact, palming everything like they're Michael Jordan palming a basketball.

Naturally, when they're ready to pay for their items they need me to help pull out the money/credit card out of their wallet because they don't want to ruin their nails. You're going to think I'm being sarcastic about what I'm about to say, but I'm not.....really. I don't mind pulling the money out. (I pinky-swear I'm being serious) They are actually usually really nice about it and we have this really corny "girlie" moment where we giggle and give each other the 'we've all been there' look.

I'm sure a manicured woman in the future with change my mind about this assessment, but for now......eh, I'll pull out the money. I sure as hell don't have a manicure to ruin...