Thursday, October 29, 2009

Credit Card Lady.....*cough*

So I was getting over a bad cold, but still couldn't shake my cough. I was ringing a lady up at the register and when I told her the total she takes out her credit card, pauses and says to me, "Can *she* swipe my credit card?" (pointing to my co-worker) My co-worker tells her, "Oh, she can swipe it for you." I'm thinking, lady, why are you asking her when *I'm* the one ringing you up and helping you?

The woman says to her, "She's sick." My co-worker tells her, "Well, she *just* washed her hands." (which was true, I had JUST washed my hands) "And JUST coughed on them," the lady snootily responds.

She tells me that she just got over being sick......she was so sick she had to take time off work, blah blah blah. All the while *clinging* to her credit card for dear life!

My co-worker then chimes in and says, "Actually, I caught a cold from *her*.....so she's getting better and I'm getting worse." ::*love it!*:: The mortified look on her face was PRICELESS. She had this look like, "Oh jesus, what am I gonna doooooo?!! They're all sick! They're all gonna get ME sick!!"

She then had the
balls to ask me, "Can I come around the counter and swipe it?" I'm thinking......helloooooooooooooo, you moron! The doorknob you touched when you walked in the store is 1000x's more dirty than my freakin' hands! If you're soooo worried about getting sick, why did you even leave your damn house this morning? You couldn't go another day without that *precious* sponge?!?!

I tell her
NO, but if she'd like me to I will go wash my hands. (I'm thinking, has it really come to this? This woman is that *scared* of me getting her sick that she won't hand over her credit card.) She stood there contemplating what she should do.....wasting my freakin' time. *Losing my patience* I tell her AGAIN, if you'd like me to go wash my hands, I will.

After a very long *annoying* pause, she says, "Okay, yes."

I went and washed my
*germy* hands and she forked over the card......FINALLY. It took all of the willpower I had in me not to cough all over that goddamn credit card and throw it in her face, *frisbee style*!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

*Quote of the Day*


"Hold it real tight so it doesn't shoot out the end."

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Slobbery Money

Why, oh WHY, do you need to lick your fingers before taking out your dollar bills and handing them to me? They're not brand new bills that are sticking together. In fact, they're wrinkly old bills that are very easy to take out one by one withOUT licking your fingers.

Do you think I now
want to touch those bills? The answer is no......NO. I don't want to have anything to do with those bills now that you've touched them with your slobbery fingers. Gross. Let me go grab a pair of tongs.....seriously.

Would
you like it if I spit on my fingers before giving you back your change?....What was that?....No, you wouldn't? Yeah, I didn't think so. Then why would you think I would be okay with it? Not cool....in fact, disgusting.

Onion Goggles

People are OBSESSED with Onion Goggles. I've never seen anyone get so excited and giddy as do customers when they discover that we have onion goggles. Most people don't even know they exist, so when they stumble upon them they seriously have a laughing fit for at least 2 minutes.

"Onion Goggles??!! Hahahahahahahahaha." Ummm...... seriously? Chill. Calm down. They're just onion goggles. You
really don't need them, but if you're gonna buy them can you *please* not discuss how funny they are or how usually you take your kids' swim goggles when you're cutting an onion and now you'll have a pair of your own!

Had a woman purchase a pair recently and she asked, "What are my color options?" I said, "Black." She responded with, "Tah, seriously?!" Uh, yeah lady.....seriously. *Seriously*....you don't need the goggles to match your outfit.
*hair-twirl, flaky giggle* It's okay, black matches EVERYTHING!!!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Always In My Way

It doesn't matter where I am in the store, where I need to go or what I need to stock the shelves with......there is ALWAYS someone in my way. It's like a *not-so-funny* joke being played on me, ALL THE TIME.

If I'm unpacking a shipment and turn around to put the items out on the shelves, there's someone there! So I'll wait and grab something else to put out, and get this.......someone is where that needs to go!

The customers are like magnets that parallel my every move and then decide to stick to exactly where I need to be. They *somehow* know where I'm going and HAVE to be there at the very same time. It's come to the point that I sort of assume that someone will be in my way. It's not that customers do this on purpose per se, but it's become this joke that no matter what I need to do someone is always standing right there, blocking where I need to go .

And yes people, I am perfectly capable of saying "excuse me", but since most human beings don't understand that "excuse me" means "get the hell out of my way, please".....it's just better to walk away and avoid the frustration.