Mark your calendar!

Okay, so I think I've established the fact that I deal with a lot of annoying, rude customers. Well what *really* brightens my day, is when one of the ARC's (Annoying Rude Customers) calls, chews my ear off asking 1000 questions and then tells me EXACTLY what day and time they'll be coming in. Awesome!

So not only have I had to deal with you on the phone, but now I can mark off your next visit on my freakin calendar. Yay! I'm *so* glad you told me when you'll be coming in......something to look forward to!!

At least *surprise* me with your annoying self. ::*jeeze*:: Now when that day comes, I'm gonna cringe every time a customer walks through that door thinking it's YOU. Why don't you just give me a description of what you'll be wearing, too.....so at least I know it's you, the ARC, walking in to torment me!

Onion Goggles

People are OBSESSED with Onion Goggles. I've never seen anyone get so excited and giddy as do customers when they discover that we have onion goggles. Most people don't even know they exist, so when they stumble upon them they seriously have a laughing fit for at least 2 minutes.

"Onion Goggles??!! Hahahahahahahahaha." Ummm...... seriously? Chill. Calm down. They're just onion goggles. You really don't need them, but if you're gonna buy them can you *please* not discuss how funny they are or how usually you take your kids' swim goggles when you're cutting an onion and now you'll have a pair of your own!

Had a woman purchase a pair recently and she asked, "What are my color options?" I said, "Black." She responded with, "Tah, seriously?!" Uh, yeah lady.....seriously. *Seriously*....you don't need the goggles to match your outfit. *hair-twirl, flaky giggle* It's okay, black matches EVERYTHING!!!

Always In My Way

It doesn't matter where I am in the store, where I need to go or what I need to stock the shelves with......there is ALWAYS someone in my way. It's like a *not-so-funny* joke being played on me, ALL THE TIME.

If I'm unpacking a shipment and turn around to put the items out on the shelves, there's someone there! So I'll wait and grab something else to put out, and get this.......someone is where that needs to go!

The customers are like magnets that parallel my every move and then decide to stick to exactly where I need to be. They *somehow* know where I'm going and HAVE to be there at the very same time. It's come to the point that I sort of assume that someone will be in my way. It's not that customers do this on purpose per se, but it's become this joke that no matter what I need to do someone is always standing right there, blocking where I need to go .

And yes people, I am perfectly capable of saying "excuse me", but since most human beings don't understand that "excuse me" means "get the hell out of my way, please".....it's just better to walk away and avoid the frustration.

Not Taking the Receipt

The following are the different scenarios that happen when customers don't want their receipt (in no specific order).....

1. Refusing to take it---> I'll be handing them their receipt and they literally refuse it. They don't put out their hand to take it, they usually put out their hand like they're going to smack mine if I don't move it soon.

2. Leaving it on the counter---> The customer takes the receipt when I give it to them, the transaction/interaction is over, they leave......I glance over at the counter and there's the receipt. Just sitting there waiting to be thrown away. Cuz, you know...it's waaaay too much effort for them to ask me to throw it away.

3. The head-shake---> Rather than just saying, "I don't need the receipt", they give me the silent head-shake. Like when you ask a little kid if they want some more broccoli and they give you that 10 second *nooooooooooooo* shaking-of-the-head.

4. "I'm gonna let you keep that"---> Is what they say to me. Oh, thanks!! You're gonna let me (!) KEEP your receipt??!! What did I do to deserve THIS?? I can't believe you're letting me....Soweeeeeet! I'm gonna stash it in my special "receipt box" I keep behind the counter and take home with me at the end of the day. Yes! One more for the collection!!

5. "I'm gonna let you throw that away"---> Oh my gosh, I'm allowed (!) to throw away your receipt?? Wow, thank you.....what an honor! I don't know what to say.....

Actually, I DO know what to say. How about you just TAKE the damn receipt, you annoying human being...OR, ask me *nicely* to throw it away for you. None of this "letting me" crap or staying mute while silently refusing this piece of paper.

Double-Parked

Often we get customers who double-park and run into the store for something. Just because they've made the bad decision to leave their car in the middle of the road with their hazards on, they expect you to drop everything and tend to them.

This causes a problem when you're already helping a customer. *hehehe* As a result they hover, breathe heavy, let out big sighs, wave their hands/arms and usually break down and just blatantly interrupt.

Regardless if you can answer their question or direct them to what they're looking for, they still have to wait until you're done with the customer. *hehehe*

When it's their "turn" to be helped and pay for their purchase, you can usually find them frantically looking out the window scouting for meter maids. I'll be standing there waiting for them to walk back over and give me their money.....once again, on THEIR time.

What bothers me most about this type of situation is that people expect things to happen on their time and their time ONLY. They expect me to abandon the customer I'm in the middle of helping and tend to them because they might get a ticket.

When I'm handing someone their money and have to wait for them to stop messing with their Blackberry, I don't throw a hissy-fit. I don't let out any big sighs or start waving my hands and arms. *There might be times when I'd like to, but I refrain from doing so.*

You have chosen to double-park your car. I realize that you don't want a ticket, but you need to CHILL OUT and wait your turn. Maybe next time instead of making the foolish decision to abandon your car in the middle of the road, you can actually *crazy idea* park it in a parking spot. I know it's a hard concept to fathom, but lots of people do it every single day.

The "Made in China" People

The "Made in China" people are the customers who won't buy anything that's made in China. You know what, to each his own. I could care less. However, if you're going to insist on being picky.....learn how to read a label, cuz damn....every single item they pick up they have to ask if it's "Made in China".

What's even more annoying is when a customer is looking for something very specific that you can't find anywhere----we have it! (yay)....BUT it's made in China. So the product you've been looking to find for the past 5 years is sitting in your hand right now, but it's MADE IN CHINA! Oh no, can't buy it! I guess they'll just have to spend another 5 years looking for the same damn thing, except made somewhere else. Good luck, cuz you're never going to find it.

It's like, you've wasted hours upon hours of your life for the past 5 years trying to find the stainless steel (brushed, not polished) kitchen towel holder, 4 inches by 2 inches.....the "best product ever" (have to hear that about 8 times throughout the visit) and you have finally found the only store that carries it and you just won't budge. Really? What is wrong with you?

It'd be fun to pull the labels off of all the merchandise and when one of the "Made in China" people comes in and asks where something is made....."That wooden spoon? France!", "The zester? Sweden!", "Espresso maker? Italy!".

I sometimes wonder if the "Made in China" people all live in a house together where nothing they own or touch is made in China...