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It grosses me out when people eat while they're asking me questions and I'm helping them. Whether it be sunflower seeds or an ice cream cone...it's never a good thing.
While the dude's cracking down on the sunflower seeds, I'm just waiting for a piece of the shell to fly in my eye or hit me in the face. "Can you pleeeeease just halt your chewing for a minute or two while I answer your question?! I can see all of those chewed up seeds floating around in your mouth when you're talking to me, yuck!"....is what I'd like to say to him. Instead, I stand a few extra feet away, squint, and hope for the best.
The person eating the ice-cream cone....I'd like them to please, please, pleeeease stop licking the ice cream for ONE MINUTE! It's like watching a soft porn (pun intended). I realize that ice cream melts, but I don't need to see this. ::*rickety voice*:: Thaaaaaat's nooooot riiiiiight.
Chewing with your mouth open = Yuck. Talking (mouth automatically open) to me while eating/chewing = YUUUUUCK.
Dear Customer,
Thank you for acknowledging my "Hello" and responding with your own greeting. If I compare you to the customers who ignore me when I say hi, I'd say I don't dislike you as much as I do them. If you're wondering why there's a part of me that still dislikes you, here's why.....you may have said hello, but you did it with your BACK to me.
Personally, I don't understand this. I don't think I have ever spoken to someone without turning around and looking at them. It makes me wonder about you people. I bet you're one of those parents whose kids are always jumping at your feet asking you questions and you either ignore them or don't look at them when you're talking to them. Did your parents do that to you and now you think it's okay to do the same to other people?
Don't get me wrong, I do appreciate you saying hello....like I said, I don't dislike you ask much as I do the others who just ignore me. I just can't fathom not turning around to see/look at the person I'm speaking to. Those colanders you're looking at aren't soooooo fantastic that you can't take your eyes off of them.
Some people may not think this is an issue (you're probably one of them), but I just think it's plain rude to speak to someone without looking at them.
::*Looking away*:: Have a lovely day!
Dear Customer,
When you walk into the store and I greet you with a friendly "Hello", please acknowledge my "hello". It's the nice and proper thing to do. You don't have to respond with the same greeting, there are a variety of things you could say. Like....."Hey", or "Oh, hi", or "Bonjour", or "Yo yo", or even just simply hit me up with a smile.
Sometimes when you don't respond, I think...maybe they didn't hear me, I'll give it another try. But when you don't respond to my second and louDER "Hello", I think....damn, you're just plain rude.
I realize that some of you are weird and afraid of social interactions, but most of you that don't respond just choose not to.
Maybe the next time one of you asks to use the bathroom because you're about to pee in your pants, I'll just pretend not to hear you....like you pretend not to hear me.
Have a great day!
"There were pots big enough for cannibals to cook people in."
You would not belieeeeeve how many men come up to the counter and say, "I'd like a boner." No joke. Instead of saying, "I'd like a boning knife", they say "I'd like a boner".....and they don't even flinch! It doesn't register in their brain that they've just asked FOR A BONER! Hah!
How are we, as educated human beings, supposed to know what product you're looking for when this is all we get from you: "I'm looking for this thing, it's kinda tall (gestures with hands, see pic above), used for making that dish...do you have it?" Well okay, let's see here....what is it used for? "That dish. You know? Forget it, you don't know what I'm talking about." Lady, you're EXACTLY right....I don't know what you're talking about. That's the only thought here that's absolutely clear--I have no idea what you're looking for!
How about instead of getting impatient and giving up, we play this really fun game where you try using some adjectives to describe what you're looking for! Like this: it's square, heat resistant, protects your hands when taking something hot out of the oven.....DING, DING, DING!!! A potholder! Yayyy!! You win! You get a gold star!
So we are a kitchen store that specializes in knives. What people tend to forget is KNIVES ARE SHARP and can cut you! Really, they can....I pinky swear. The way some customers handle the knives is nerve racking. I'm surprised these people graduated from butter knife to sharp 8" chef's knife. Never should've happened--in fact, I think all of their knives should be taken away from them and be left with just a fork and spoon. (Actually, you can do a lot of damage with a fork...let's take that away too. Just spoon.)
*Let me preface what I'm about to tell you by letting you know that I don't deal well with seeing other people's blood. Not fa' me.*
Okay, so a few years ago, I was showing a customer some knives. He definitely worked in the kitchen at one of the local restaurants, as he was in his white coat/checkered pants. The serrated knife he wanted to see was probably the sharpest one we had in the store. Instead of feeling how sharp the blade was the 'safe and proper' way, he proceeded to press the serrations into his thumb and drag it across the surface. I thought, "Oh god, here we go."
He quickly realized what he did and instead of acknowledging the he had just sliced his thumb (with a SERRATED BLADE, mind you) he held his finger against it to "stop" the bleeding. All I could do was STARE. He was asking me questions about the knives while his thumb was bleeding, bad. I didn't hear a word he was saying, came out of my freaked-out daze and interrupted him BLUNTLY and said, "Let me get you a paper-towel, cuz you're bleeding all over the place."
He wrapped his thumb with the paper towel and decided he'd buy everything that was in front of him. I'm thinking, "Hell yeah you'll buy all of it. Not selling this stuff to anyone else but YOU." He paid me in cash, one-handed cuz his thumb was still gushing. Gross. Yuck. Ew.
I'd bet 100 bucks he had to get stitches that day. What was most disturbing, aside from the blood, was that he didn't acknowledge that he cut himself. Obviously he was embarassed, but don't pretend you're not bleeeeeeeding. I can seeeeeeee it. It was like the 'pink elephant' in the middle of the room, except this one was a red, bloody elephant standing right in front of me.
Okay, so you don't need to turn your cell phone OFF. Keep it on! I enjoy hearing the Akon ringtone coming from "Miss Burberry's" Blackberry while she's walking around the store...quite amusing.
However, is it really necessary to be talking on your phone when you're: A. asking me a question (Akon's about to "smack that", gotta answer it! It's my BF!), B. paying for your purchase (I'm "interrupting" you to tell you your total and ask if you'd like debit or credit, how rude of me...I'm really sorry, we cool?).
I have this craaaazy idea....perhaps you could ignore the call and call them back? Or end the call you're on before you ask me your question or pay for your stuff? I know it's outrageous to think--I shouldn't share such outlandish thoughts. Again, sorry....we cool?
So let me ask you this....when I put my hand out to take your money, why do you place your dollar bills and 98 cents in pennies directly in front of my hand on the counter? I'm happy to take your $. In fact, I have no problem with people taking 3-5 minutes to find/count out their exact change...not a problem. I do not, however, understand why people throw their $ on the counter and don't even think twice about picking up their bills and cents and placing them in my hand that has been hanging (for 3-5 minutes) right in front of them.
Do me a favor...next time you're paying for something, don't leave your money on the counter for the cashier to scoop up like they're your servant---> hand it to them instead. We hand you your change, so hand us your dollar bills and 98 cents in change, please...
It grosses me out when people eat while they're asking me questions and I'm helping them. Whether it be sunflower seeds or an ice cream cone...it's never a good thing. 
